Relationship Red Flags

We want to create a campus culture where every student feels safe, respected, and valued in their relationships. Whether it's friendships, work/academic relationships, or romantic relations, everyone deserves to experience positive interactions and connections.

For today's Healthy Relationships blog, we're equipping you with the knowledge and tools you will need to identify, address, and prevent toxic behaviour in your relationships.

Green Flags vs. Red Flags

Understanding the difference between green flags (positive indicators) and red flags (warning signs) is crucial in navigating relationships. While each relationship is unique, here are some common early indicators that may suggest an unhealthy or healthy dynamic.

Early warning signs of toxic relationships

Recognising warning signs is the first step towards breaking free of or avoiding a toxic/abusive relationship. Keep an eye out for these early indicators (red flags).

Red Flags

Controlling behavior

A partner who constantly tries to control your actions, decisions, or activities may be displaying early signs of toxicity. This can manifest as jealousy, possessiveness, or attempts to isolate you from friends and family.

Lack of respect

Mutual respect is fundamental in a healthy relationship. If your partner consistently disregards your feelings, opinions, or boundaries, it can indicate an unhealthy dynamic.

Verbal abuse

The use of derogatory language, insults, or constant criticism is a red flag. Verbal abuse can be just as harmful as physical abuse and can erode your self-esteem over time.

Manipulation

Manipulative behaviour involves using tactics to control or influence you in ways that are not healthy. This may include guilt-tripping, gaslighting, or playing mind games.

Extreme mood swings

A partner with unpredictable and extreme mood swings may contribute to an emotionally unstable environment. This can create tension and anxiety within the relationship.

Isolation

Abusive individuals may try to isolate their partners from friends, family, or other support systems. This isolation can make it more difficult for you to seek help or recognize the unhealthy nature of the relationship.

Lack of accountability

If your partner consistently refuses to take responsibility for their actions, blames you for their behavior, or minimizes the impact of their actions, it may indicate a lack of accountability.

Constant criticism

Constructive feedback is normal in any relationship, but constant criticism, especially when it's demeaning or hurtful, is a warning sign.

Physical or Verbal Aggression

Any form of threat, whether it's physical, emotional, or psychological, is unacceptable. This includes threats of violence, self-harm, or other forms of intimidation.

Unwanted pressure or coercion

If your partner uses pressure or coercion to make you do things against your will, it's a sign of a power imbalance in the relationship.

Lack of Boundaries

Healthy relationships thrive on respect for personal boundaries. If your partner consistently violates your boundaries, it's time to reassess the situation.

Intense Jealousy

While a bit of jealousy is natural, an excessive and possessive nature can lead to controlling behaviour.

Unequal Power Dynamics

In a healthy relationship, power is shared. If you notice an unequal distribution, it may be a sign of an unhealthy dynamic.

Early Signs of Healthy Relationships

While it's important to be aware of red flags in relationships, it's equally important to be able to recognize positive or "green flags" that indicate a healthy and supportive relationship. Here are some positive signs (green flags) that suggest you're in a good relationship:

Green Flags

Communication and Openness

Healthy relationships are built on effective communication. Partners who are willing to discuss their feelings, thoughts, and concerns openly create a foundation of trust and understanding.

Respect for Boundaries

Both partners respect each other's boundaries, and there is a mutual understanding of the importance of individual space and autonomy.

Supportive Behaviour

A partner who is genuinely supportive of your goals, aspirations, and personal growth is a positive sign. They encourage you to pursue your interests and dreams.

Mutual Trust

Trust is a key component of a healthy relationship. Green flags include a sense of security, reliability, and the belief that you can depend on each other.

Shared Values

Partnerships that thrive often involve individuals with similar core values and beliefs. While differences can exist, a strong foundation of shared values can contribute to long-term compatibility.

Healthy Conflict Resolution

Disagreements are a natural part of any relationship, but how conflicts are handled is crucial. Healthy couples engage in constructive conversations, seeking resolution rather than escalating conflicts.

Empathy and Understanding

Partners who show empathy and understanding toward each other's feelings and perspectives contribute to a compassionate and caring relationship.

Appreciation and Gratitude

Expressing gratitude and appreciation for each other regularly fosters a positive atmosphere and reinforces a sense of value within the relationship.

Equality and Shared Responsibilities

In a healthy relationship, both partners contribute to the partnership in a balanced way. There's a sense of equality when it comes to decision-making, responsibilities, and compromises.

Emotional and Physical Safety

Feeling emotionally and physically safe with your partner is essential. A green flag is when you feel comfortable expressing yourself and know that your partner respects your emotional and physical wellbeing.

Lack of Control or Manipulation

In a healthy relationship, there's no attempt to control or manipulate the other person. Both partners are free to be themselves without fear of coercion or pressure.

Friendship and Companionship

A strong romantic relationship often has a foundation of friendship. Shared laughter, common interests, and the ability to enjoy each other's company contribute to a fulfilling connection.

Remember that every relationship is unique, and what works for one couple may not work for another. However, these green flags can serve as positive indicators of a strong and supportive partnership.

How to Avoid Toxic/Abusive Relationships

Trust Your Instincts

If something feels off, trust your instincts. Listen to your gut feelings and don't ignore warning signs.

Build Strong Support Networks

Surround yourself with friends, family, and mentors who uplift and support you. A strong support system is crucial.

Educate Yourself

Be aware of the signs of abusive relationships and educate yourself on healthy relationship dynamics.

Set and Communicate Boundaries

Communicate your boundaries and ensure that your partner respects and supports them.

Seek Professional Help

If you find yourself in an abusive relationship or are worried about a friend or family member seeking help from professionals, counsellors, or support services on campus.