Consent, It's Sexy

When we talk about healthy relationships and sexual activity, one word stands above all: consent. Whether you’re in a long-term relationship or just starting to get to know someone, consent is the foundation of mutual respect, trust, and communication. It’s about making sure everyone involved feels comfortable, respected, and excited to engage—because nothing is sexier than knowing your partner is as enthusiastic as you are.

This academic year, students are asked to complete the mandatory consent module. Please ensure you have completed the consent matters module, whether you are an incoming or returning student. 

What Is Consent?

At its core, consent is an agreement between people to engage in a specific activity. It’s about being fully aware, informed, and comfortable with what's happening. Consent isn't just a one-time thing either—it’s an ongoing process. Each person involved has the right to change their mind, set boundaries, and communicate how they feel at any time.

Consent can be verbal, but it also involves non-verbal cues like body language and facial expressions. A clear, enthusiastic "yes" is what we're aiming for—not silence, hesitation, or feeling pressured.

Why Is Consent Sexy?

Consent shows that you respect and care about your partner’s feelings, and that’s incredibly attractive. It builds trust and deepens connections by ensuring that both people are on the same page. Asking for consent creates an open dialogue, leading to more meaningful and enjoyable sexual experiences.

Here are a few reasons why consent is sexy:

1. It’s Empowering: Consent gives both partners the power to decide what they’re comfortable with. When both people feel empowered, it leads to more confidence and comfort in the relationship.

2. It’s About Respect: When you ask for consent, you’re showing that you value your partner’s boundaries and choices. That level of respect is key in any healthy relationship.

3. It Builds Trust: Having open conversations about what you both want (or don’t want) creates a safe space where trust can thrive. You know that your partner has your back, and they know you have theirs.

How to Give and Receive Consent

Consent doesn’t have to feel awkward or formal. In fact, it can be a fun and natural part of any relationship. Here’s how to keep things clear and consensual:

• Ask and Listen: A simple "Are you comfortable with this?" or "Do you want to keep going?" can work wonders. Make sure to really listen to your partner’s response and respect what they say, even if it’s not what you were expecting.
• Be Enthusiastic: Consent should be enthusiastic, not pressured. You want to be with someone who is genuinely excited to be with you, just as you should feel the same. Anything less than that enthusiastic "yes" means it’s time to pause and check in.
• Check In Regularly: Consent is an ongoing process. Just because someone has agreed to something before, it doesn’t mean they’re okay with it again. Checking in with your partner shows you care about their comfort and feelings throughout.
• Respect the Right to Say No: Everyone has the right to say "no" at any point, even if they’ve previously agreed. Changing your mind is okay and should be respected.

What Consent Isn’t

Sometimes it’s easier to understand consent by knowing what it’s not. Consent is not:

• Assumed: Just because someone has consented before or is in a relationship with you doesn’t mean they’re consenting this time.
•  Implied: Silence, hesitation, or going along with something without enthusiasm is not consent. Consent needs to be clear and active.
• Coerced: If someone feels pressured, manipulated, or threatened into agreeing, that’s not consent. True consent is freely given without any form of pressure.
• Possible in Certain Situations: Consent can’t be given if someone is asleep, unconscious, or intoxicated. If your partner isn’t fully aware or capable of making decisions, then they can’t consent.

Consent in Everyday Relationships

Consent isn’t just about sex—it’s about every aspect of a relationship. Whether it’s physical touch, emotional boundaries, or deciding how far to go in a conversation, respecting each other’s limits is key to a healthy, fulfilling connection.

Asking for consent should feel natural and normal, like checking in with your partner about any other shared experience. Being on the same page means both people get to enjoy the relationship in a way that feels comfortable and fulfilling.

Wrapping It Up: Consent, It’s a Win-Win

At the end of the day, consent is about communication, respect, and trust—three things that make any relationship stronger. When both people feel comfortable and respected, it leads to more open, satisfying, and enjoyable experiences. So, as we celebrate SHAG Week and all things related to sexual health, remember that consent isn’t just important—it’s sexy!

When you ask for consent, you're making sure that everyone involved is happy, respected, and ready to enjoy the moment. And honestly, what could be better than that?